19 juin 2009

On my high tower.

 always hated describing my feelings... and only desired that my feeling be interpreted by  another person as they desired and therefore poetry seemed to be the best way to portray my own feelings. so here goes. A poem that i have written today. 

my heart is far from the door 
like a prostitute at Mont marte 
my heart throbs 
but not from the satisfaction of lust.

The heart beats out of rhythm 
from the on that proposes his love
love, lust 
the same?

my mirror image. 

This fear that beats within my heart 
fear to loose fear to live, fear to be 
fear to accept what is lost. 

And she stands there, my mirror self
naked and bare., in the silence 
dirt all over, thrown to the ground. 

The neighbour, NO! that "BITCH!"
empties her chamber pot 
the fools throw down their, pity crumbs 
left overs that should be given to pigs! 

I was a beauty and now 
in a new, anew 
place i am a courtesan 
playing to the fantasy of man.  (trust me, not just men alone, women as well) 

Their fantasy and i am thrown out again 
I am no fanny hill 
Don Juan visited my bed and 
he consumed me, leaving me an empty shell.

I no longer feel, as they do away
no not ! I she does not 
feel I still remember the kindness 
they drop on me.

The little girl of mont marte 
they called sweet things "my love" 
"my sweet" Now "WHORE ! " is my name 
fucking away, beating heartily.

They label us, they make us 
play their fantasy and i can no longer 
be her , no I believe it is wrong.

In the gutter ! we sleep, we pick up the 
crumbs and be as close to the dogs 
the rats my minions 
the sewers my hiding place, my saftey 
and catacomb.

I am her 
the sun sets on my abode 
my alley way where i am given 
no more a woman of meat,  a bone a flesh.

Spirit attached to the Earth
and i climb higher 
a new place, a greater height 
on the roof,  the church steeple as my footstool.

And I am, she becomes and we 
live 
to see, to be that little girl of 
Mont marte 

the belle of my city, the sky her roof 

Earth her floor
I am, and I am 
the becoming. 

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