Dependence on people

People fail, people will disappoint at times, people are never perfect and can never be perfect. We are a mess of imperfections that try to live our lives, each day at a time. Trying not to be pretentious or perhaps we put up an act everyday and our real selves are not developed, perhaps some of us are still immature, still naive and still completely incompetent at many things. Unable to reciprocate unable to return the favor paid to us. I being me have relied on people tooo much that it becomes nearly a fear that i have to trust people, that it becomes that if a person becomes too friendly toward me I think that the person has an ulterior motive or something like that. And it has become a sort of phobia that i begin to have about people. It may be quite a paranoid thing and maybe even possibly be hyper hyper sensitive towards people and their emotions. And i tend to look at everything, because your lips can say one and your hands can say another. I have lied before and I do know when a person tries to conceal it. Can't you just tell people in the face? I know sometimes it may be just blunt to do so. But at times it is appropriate. Sometimes it is supposed to be good and cause a certain amount of change. Because ALL of us are not perfect and require the words of another to correct our wrongs. If it is a good friend, ALL THE MORE you should correct, yea perhaps you put the friendship at risk but it is a good risk... A risk to tell the truth even when it is extremely painful. You may say that by doing that we are reliant on people and that we need people around us all the time. Well we are around people about 3/4 of the day at least and without that human connection we feel empty. That is why i say that good friends are important, no matter gender, no matter race, religion... it does not really matter. Friends are willing to tell the other the truth when it hurts, when it might sacrifice the relationship but choose to be honest. They stand by you even when you are about to take the plunge. They know your weakness and don't showcase it, they showcase your strengths and protect. Protect especially what is precious to them. They will put aside everything, just to hear you out. Maybe I am just being naive and overly idealistic. But I try to do these things for my friends. I try, even if it will sabotage a relationship, If I don't treat you as a friend I will pretend in front of you and act interested in what you say, giving you pity laughs and smiles that are unreal. So how do you know when i am a friend of yours ? if i keep watching out for you (it may sound creepy) But really If I keep looking out for you no matter what... Like I said earlier, love is easy and relationships well they are a different story. Well words that are cheap as well, concern is a full time investment. Though we know that words are the easy things to say to please and to flatter we still comply and give in to the other person's guilty pleasures. It disgusts me, because the other is not true to the other and between good friends it is just... no, no, no ! To love as a friend is to love as a brother or love as a sister. where they are as close as blood ties. Sometimes blood is not thicker than water. Sometimes blood is bad ... and the water is purer than the blood... It happens...