Well it has been a really long time that I have ranted and there is so much built up angst against everything that it is beginning to hinder me from doing stuff that I really do take pleasure in such as writing, playing music,and just sitting there with the great minds of the past in my hands in print. So I really need to just rant about stuff here... :P So here goes, I don't know where this will lead, but we all need to jump off the cliff once in a while.
Firstly is Drama, currently I am involved in Drama, EVERYDAY, yea i know. But I have taken a new love towards drama, and also I am living out what I had proposed that people should not do what they are not willing to do for free. Yea come to think of it again it sounds really elitist, but at the same time it kinda does make sense. The only problem, is that who would be willing to work in a garbage dump for free? Well.. I truly have no idea, but there are people out there with the desire to do these kinda things, like I would love, LOVE to be a florist, and i would even do it for free, only if I could find a place to slog amongst the flowers :D... stunning! Back to my main topic, new love for drama. So what is this new love for drama? I have begun to have a great disdain for people that are FORCED to act, cos then there is no passion and everything is just so plastic, and along with that, my dears, ENERGY is important. I have been working with my old school, i their drama productions and I can see what passion about being a character can bring, and it can truly change the face of the play. The script are the words, but the person breathes life into these words, kinda like God creating the world... Awesome eh? being God for several minutes or hours... Anyway drama is one really awesome thing to be involved in, i really don't know why but it just makes me feel happy inside, even just to stand there and look at how the actors practice their lines makes me happy to be there, i know you now think I'm crazy... haha! ... don't worry you are not the only one :D But I love drama and there is nothing you can to do take me away from performing! Like the Bard said, all the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely actors.... In our already overly OVERLY busy world, we must take time to sit back and truly enjoy what we do.
Poetry, haha! this is fun to just randomly talk bout stuff... yea talking about poetry, it is really really fun to listen to your own poetry, and re read what you have composed, it is so so FUN... especially when you know that you have taken extreme effort in writing that piece, even if people hate it, you will love it because of the effort put in... Coming up on my 1st year of writing poetry, I remember what got me started writing, the Lolita saga... haha! who could forget, nonetheless I guess there was some divine plan to allow the lolita saga to develop my style of writing, and allow me to practice alot, till the current stage that I am at... not great but... something that I can enjoy. Writing poetry is like magic, where worlds are created from words which form up in my head. At times it is to relive angst which I did at the beginning of my writing life, and at other times, it is cos we feel something or we see something that we usually see... it is truly amazing, something lovely to do. if you want to know more just read my other rant bout poetry and why it exists. Poetry is the language of love as said by Darcy in P&P, hmmm haha! but I have not found the ONE which I truly love, I guess being roughly fluent in this "language of love" is not really helping haha! ... well we shall see in the end shan't we? ...
Love, who do I love? haha! well that is a difficult question to ask me, cos it is easy for me to say whom I have a dislike for but to love? It is a hard question for me. I know the first person that comes to mind is ironically, not my best friend though he is extremely important to me and a great bro to me, but instead, it is definitely Madam Jiang! you may think it is absurd but it is true. I was thinking about this for several days as I was clearing out my memory box (box that i keep many things, like notes, or special presents, from special people in my life) It was then that I took out my zhuo wen book that was written all over by my lao shi. sigh... it means so much to me, I mean yea, I don't show it at times, but it does not mean that I don't appreciate it LOADS. So why do I love her, firstly cos she is truly sincere, what she says she means it with all her heart. Like for JC 1 I really really really hated being in school, I hated it cos, I was not in a awesome school, but kinda like the backwater and relegated to something less than what I wanted. So of course I hated JC1 life, and worse I had to take Chinese, something which I truly was not fluent in and my secondary school had made me dislike the subject thoroughly. But from the moment I saw lao shi and from day one when I did my work, she encouraged me, she said things that I felt meant alot to me, like she always said that I could do it. I mean WHO on earth can say stuff like that to a person that seems to have the least chance of doing well in the subject? I mean teachers are likely to push those which are awesome in the subject and just push them to get their A's. But she was different, and it made me begin to find meaning to come to school. It motivated me to study for Chinese, something which could never happen in Secondary school. There seems like there is so little I am saying here, but to say everything would probably take all night so I shall summarize. Briefly, Madam Jiang was a teacher that believed in me even when it seemed impossible, she taught with all sincerity and did not once see the limitations in any of us but always saw the potential that we all had, even when there seemed like there was no hope. She encouraged and pushed us till the end, and even when we were stubborn she was patient with us, teaching us to be strong no matter how difficult the circumstance may be. So why do I love Madam Jiang? well It is because of the way she loved us no matter how we were. :D So who do I love? I love those that loved me first haha! so egoistical I know, but we need one to love first... before the other reciprocates... So what we must learn is to love first and not be afraid if the person does not reciprocate, but take the chance to love first and just jump cos love is about taking the risk and just staking it all even when you know you may lose it all. <3
What is the meaning of life? what is the meaning of our being on earth? Millions have asked these questions... and I have the answer. It is not the Best answer that we all look for... but this is it. What is the meaning of life? Well life is about living on the edge! it is about taking life everyday in out hands and moulding it to what we can be. Christians like to always ask what is God's will for this or that... not just Christians but also other religions... STOP ASKING! cos what difference will it make? it is not that God will take a lightning bolt and strike you if you don't do his will! He is God, and if you believe your God is truly GOD... then what you choose will he not bless you in doing it? I am not advocating that we have NO values, but to keep asking God for what is his will in this or that, when it is not gonna do you much harm sometimes God says : your choice. So what is life about? Life is about jumping off the edge and taking the plunge even when you can't see the bottom! It is about saying what we feel and not repressing it all, it is about seeking out the Best that life can bring, it is about living abundantly, and living everyday like it is our last. My friend was asking so how? her special day with her boyfriend if he is not there on the day itself? Well i told her that it would not be any less special. We make the days of our lives special and unique, we are the ones that change the fate of our universe, we are not doomed from the beginning, but we are a people that can make choices, there is no predicted future... the future is ever changing according to the choices we make, and even when bad ones are made, we suffer the bad to understand what the good is eventually in our lives after the bad has passed. Even if it is cancer, and we suffer till death, we can die knowing that our reward is that peaceful death and relief from the pain of this world. We all go through bad, to understand what good feels like. We all make mistakes eventually... we all will fall one day but how quickly we pick ourselves up after that is another story. So one thing I leave with you, Live life dangerously, live life enjoying the people around you, enjoying the things you do cos if you hate it all then life would seem pointless and bleak all the time and it is not worth it to throw life away to such things. Don't waste your life away, live it knowing that in the end we are not remembered by what we are, but what we DID, and the more we do to change our world, the better the future we can create. So that's all I have: so what is life's purpose?
TO STRIVE! TO SEEK! but not to Yield!
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